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Last Friday I had a job interview in Arkansas. Arkansas. I really don't see myself living there. But it's a really good deal - a decent salary and if I stay there long enough they'd pay off all my student loans. How long is long enough? Five years. Could I really do five years in Arkansas? The good: Salary and school loans. The bad: Arkansas. The good: Free supervision toward licensure. The bad: It's CBT-oriented supervision. I want psychodynamic. The good: It's 45 minutes from Memphis. I could get good supervision there. The bad: It's in the middle of nowhere. The good: Cost of living would be cheap. I could save some money. The bad: I could save money because there's no real shopping there. The good: I could have a tight group of friends. The bad: Everyone would know my business. Everyone in town. How much of a possibility would I have of meeting someone? I mean, really. The good: Therapy job. Very clinical. The bad: Loneliness. WHAT TO DO? I feel like Other Brother, not able to make a decision to save my life. Then again, I did live through Utah. Twice. I can do anything, right? Right? Tags: job
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: Zayas lecturing
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I’ve been back from India for a week now and have had a little bit of a chance to get caught up on sleep. They worked us really hard while we were there – I was expecting for it to be intense, just not so hard. We were in class 9-6 Monday through Saturday so we really didn’t get many chances to see much of India. Our first week we were in Chennai doing half time in classes, and half time in field visits. We were escorted throughout Chennai by the folks of the Banyan. We saw a number of their various projects, all mental health related. It was a great model, very personable and client-centered. The clinicians were actually allowed to touch the clients. *gasp* It was a holistic model that a lot of places could learn from. During our stay in Chennai we also visited another institution not associated with the Banyan. It was not a good place. The woman who did introductions for us actually called the patients “inmates.” And that is how they were treated. Sure, they were allowed to walk outside on the grounds but were not granted any other luxuries. One person said she felt like she was at a concentration camp. After our week in Chennai we headed up to Mumbai on a 30-hour long train ride, second class. It was awful. I kept waking up with random people sitting on the side of my bed. If I got out of my seat I had to ask one of my Indian friends to make sure no one sat in it. Mostly everyone else enjoyed the trip, but they didn’t have the bed closest to the door and bathroom (hole in the floor onto the tracks). Never again. I’ll prob’ly never go to India again either. The 32 hours it takes to get there and back was a little too much for me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the time I had there, but, like my trip to Germany reminded me in May, it’s a place I don’t feel much connection to. Even now that I have friends there. It’s weird to be saying this but to me it’s just another place. I’m glad for the time there and I’m glad to be home. It’s no Guatemala. More later. Tags: india
Current Location: 63121
Current Mood:  tired
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Hello CHOICE friends, All of us are grieving and trying to make sense of the events of the past few weeks. And in typical CHOICE fashion, it is the village who reminds us what this is all for! We received news this week from Santiago, one of the 2 staff left in Guatemala, that the village of Sepamac (the intended destination of the August expedition) went ahead and started the project. In fact, they are almost done! This is the magic of your involvement with the village. For each of the people on that plane, the very idea of them was a catalyst to jump start this village. The very memory of them is what keeps us going everyday. As the Kekchi say, bantiox! Thank you all so very much for the support you have given us over the last few weeks. Your condolences, offers of help, thoughts and prayers are truly what have given us the peace and strength to move forward. It is what has helped us to honor those who sacrificed their lives for this cause by continuing on with CHOICE's work. The candle light memorial in honor of all those on the plane was beautiful. Click here to see a news video on the evening. http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=4135876 Friends and family spoke from their hearts and shared with us their love for those who passed away. A letter was read that was written by Javier and Walfred's son, Daniel. The last lines of the letter read "we dont now the words…but we now the feelings. Thanks for the special friendship that you have for us, please stay with us, in our prays." We have received word that the villages in Guatemala have been holding their own memorial ceremonies in honor of those who passed away. Thousands of villagers are attending in support. We cannot express the gratitude we feel for all of you. Many of you have asked how you can help. We have updated our website with information on how to donate to each of the families. There is also a link to donate to CHOICE to help us to carry on the work that Liz, Javier, Walfred, John, Daniel, Cody, Jeffrey, Lydia, Roger, Zachary, Sarah and April set out to do. http://www.choicehumanitariantragedy.com/
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Stolen from http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_10303478I knew Javier and Walfred. I can't imagine them being gone. And so quickly. They were doing so much good down there. It could have been me on that plane.Three Utah humanitarian workers perish in Guatemala plane crash A state Senate hopeful survives the plane wreck By Carlos Mayorga The Salt Lake TribuneSalt Lake Tribune Article Last Updated:08/26/2008 06:23:45 AM MDT Eleven people were killed - including three Utahns - when a plane crashed while carrying humanitarian workers to a Guatemalan village on Sunday. One of the three survivors is a candidate for the Utah Senate. Dan Liljenquist - a Republican candidate for state Senate District 23, which covers five cities in south Davis County - was recovering from surgery on a broken right leg and a broken left ankle in a Guatemala City hospital, his wife, Brooke Liljenquist, said Monday. Liljenquist was among 14 people - 10 Americans and four Guatemalans - who were on board when the small aircraft plummeted into a field in rural Guatemala, according to The Associated Press. The Cessna Caravan was headed to a village in the area of El Estor to build a school, a project that was to take about seven days, The Associated Press reported. Of the dead, five were from CHOICE Humanitarian, a nonprofit based in West Jordan that has done volunteer work in Africa and Central and South America for about 25 years. Members of the CHOICE organization killed were Expedition Director Liz Johnson, who is from Utah; Roger Jensen and his son Zachary from Wisconsin; and representatives Javier Rabanales and Walfred de Rabanales from Guatemala. The pilot and co-pilot, Fernando Estrada and Monica Bonilla, both of Guatemala, also died, The Associated Press reported. Also killed were four employees of Focus Services, Inc., a call center based in Roy, Utah, that was working alongside CHOICE Humanitarian on the mission. Employees Cody Odekirk and John Carter were from Utah; and Jeff Reppe and Lydia Silva were from Illinois. Employees from both organizations were in shock and disbelief Monday. "This has never happened in our company before," said Lew Swain, a spokesperson for CHOICE Humanitarian. "It's devastating to family, friends and associates. We've lost good friends and supporters to a cause that needs more supporters." The pilot had called in with engine trouble about 45 minutes before crashing some 60 miles east of Guatemala City. The burned wreckage of the plane was scattered along the edge of a barren field lined with palm trees, an aviation official and a survivor told The Associated Press. Brooke Liljenquist said her husband told her that passengers were alerted that the plane would have to make an emergency landing, and in the course of that attempt something went wrong. A group of farmers pulled her husband from the wreckage just before the plane exploded, saving his life, she said. Sarah Jensen, a 19-year-old from Amery, Wis., who survived the crash with minor cuts and bruises, told The Associated Press her brother and father were killed in the crash, and that her mother suffered serious burns and contusions. Brooke Liljenquist said she spoke after the crash with Jensen, who told her that both she and Dan Liljenquist were sitting on the left side of the plane, close to an exit door. This is the third year in which Focus Services has teamed up with CHOICE on an international mission. John Porter, president of Focus Services, which has about 900 employees in Utah, said the company is still trying to deal with the tragedy and has no plans as of yet to discontinue further missions. "We have a culture centered around giving back locally and making a contribution in different parts of the world," he said. "That will not change." Brooke Liljenquist said she is still unsure when her husband will be able to come home, but she looks forward to his safe return. "I feel blessed that my husband is coming home," she said, adding that she may fly to Guatemala today if she thinks he won't make it back to Utah before this weekend. Dan Liljenquist's brother and his father, both doctors, flew to Guatemala City Monday morning to be with him. Sen. Dan Eastman, the current state senator in District 23 who is retiring at the end of the year, said he wishes Liljenquist a quick recovery. "It's a disaster, but a miracle that he survived," he said. "I think he'll stay in the race. He certainly is an important candidate in this race and I trust that he'll continue." So far, accounts have been set up separately for the families of John Carter and Cody Odekirk at Zions Bank. cmayorga@sltrib.com --- * CATHY MCKITRICK contributed to this report. Current Mood:  devastated
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I just had the most amazing conversation and lunch with my new friend. I don't know how long it has been since I've felt this good. A weight is off my shoulders and it feels amazing. First of all, can I just say, P.F. Chang's, where the hell have I been? When CLP emailed me she commented that people coming out of the Church need a lot of support, a novel concept to me. Mormons get support when they are in the Church and following all the rules. If you cut yourself off, you cut yourself off. No commendations for taking a leap of faith, thinking for yourself, or following your own path. It was such a simple statement, and I wondered why I hadn't considered it before. Today I got a whole lot of support. And it comes at a time when I've really needed it. I went to lunch knowing I was gonna get really personal...time to get down and dirty, talk about real issues, let my truth exist. It's one thing to sit in front of a therapist and explain why a thing about a religion is significant and hard to get over. It's quite another to have someone hear and know exactly what I'm talking about on such an organic level, to feel the pain right along with me, and offer hope when so much is uncertain and scary. It made me realize how far I've come in the last year. To step out of my comfort zone and be comfortable. To take the risk of buying a plane ticket and trusting that the universe would provide for me. And Emily, and Gayvid, and Gwin are all right. I have come through all of this alone and I'm still kicking. While I know that I'm not out of the woods yet, I am far from threat level red and on the upswing. So I'm memorizing this feeling, making myself a naughty chart, framing the fortune I got after lunch, and hoping the melancholia will ease up as I travel my path. And I have a visualization that brings tears to my eyes. It was a great time. And I laughed. And now all of Emily's groupies can be jealous of me. Yup. AND! The day isn't even over yet. I get to hang out with Keem tonight! Tags: all by myself, bermuda triangle
Current Location: 84102
Current Mood:  cheerful
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Can't sleep. Latter Dayswords and music: Detweiler (Over the Rhine) What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words. There is a me you would not recognize, dear. Call it the shadow of myself. And if the music starts before I get there dance without me. You dance so gracefully. I really think I'll be o.k. They've taken their toll these latter days. Nothin' like sleepin' on a bed of nails. Nothin' much here but our broken dreams. Ah, but baby if all else fails, nothin' is ever quite what it seems. And I'm dyin' inside to leave you with more than just cliches. There is a me you would not recognize, dear. Call it the shadow of myself. And if the music starts before I get there dance without me. You dance so gracefully. I really think I'll be o.k. They've taken their toll these latter days. But tell them it's real. Tell them it's really real. I just don't have much left to say. They've taken their toll these latter days. They've taken their toll these latter days. Tags: lyrics
Current Location: 84102
Current Mood:  melancholic
Current Music: Over the Rhine - Latter Days (Good Dog Bad Dog)
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If I had my way, I would institute required courses in every medical school in the nation. They would happen every semester and they would be called "Social Skills 101." Topics would include: - How to not act like a total jackass - You are not God's gift - Believing that your patients are not lying - Respect - Treating people like they are actual people - Topics of conversation in mixed company (i.e., not showing off your medical knowledge and prowess to people who could care less at parties) - Ego dismantling - We're all proud of you for making it through med school. Now let's move on - Considering options (having an open mind) - Interviewing skills Have I left anything out? On the bright side, I've lost 15 pounds since changing my diet. Can't imagine what I'd be like if I actually exercised. Tags: health, quejando
Current Location: 63130
Current Mood:  irate
Current Music: Robertson talking
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I've been back for almost a week now; for those of you who know me personally you'll have to listen to me talk about how great Guatemala is for the next month or so. To purge myself, I give you my top ten list of things I love about Guat, Letterman style. 10. How can a person not love a place where you can paint your house bright pink or turqouise and it's okay? 9. The tuk-tuks, 3 wheeled taxis that will take a person anywhere around town for 5Q. Especially fun on cobblestone roads. I love that it's made for 4 people tops and that we consistently fit up to 7 people in one. 8. The people are great. Fantastic sense of humor. I love them. And they love me. 7. Everything's cheap. And a person of meager means like myself can live like royalty. 6. Eternal spring. That doesn't go for the whole country. But I really, really enjoyed the weather in Pana. 5. The scenery is breath taking. 4. The 'peek-ap' trucks are fun to ride in. For under a dollar you can have the privilege of being crammed into the back of a pick up with 20 other people, all standing up, hanging onto the rails for dear life riding up and down mountain roads, wind blowing in your hair. It doesn't really get much better than that. 3. I really came to appreciate the beauty of the traditional clothing. Every town has their own unique design. I've always said I want to be a Dearden when I grow up... I've started by collecting 3 huipiles (blouses). I've only got 97 to go to catch up with Marlin. 2. The history is fascinating. 1. Brown boys. Extra bonus: brown boys with their shirts off. Tags: guatemala
Current Location: 84101
Current Mood:  busy
Current Music: Ron Sexsmith - Every Passing Day (Whereabouts)
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